


Griffin's Anatomy: Lexa

by HawthorneWhisperer



Series: Griffin's Anatomy [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Ficlet, Mild Smut, Unrequited Love, endgame bellarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 09:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4095811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawthorneWhisperer/pseuds/HawthorneWhisperer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Companion piece to chapter five of Griffin's Anatomy.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Griffin's Anatomy: Lexa

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece to chapter five of Griffin's Anatomy.

Clarke Griffin was hung up on someone else.

That much was obvious.

At first, Lexa thought it might be Echo, the Oncology attending with the legs that went on for days and pillowy lips.  Lexa noticed her her first week at the Ark, but there seemed to be some rumors surrounding Echo and Blake, the gruff pediatrics attending that everyone wanted to stab. So Lexa didn’t really pay much attention to her, except for the dark looks Clarke occasionally sent Echo’s way.

Clarke, though.  Lexa could never write her off.  There was something magnetic about her, even though for the first few months of their internship it was clearly a lost cause.  Clarke was friendly and distant at the same time, occasionally glancing at her phone while the interns were at happy hour and then making an excuse to leave.

But then something changed.  Clarke no longer ducked out of group outings early and she became more approachable–and more flirtatious.  There had been a carelessness to Clarke’s affection before, when she would hug someone impulsively or rest her head on Monty’s shoulder while they were eating lunch in an empty room.  Now there was intent behind her flirtation, a determination to prove something to herself.

Lexa understood determination.  She understood drive.  She understood that sometimes, you had to cut people out of your life if you were going to survive.  She understood Clarke, or so she thought, and when she asked Clarke if she wanted to get a drink–just the two of them, her eyes hooded as she spoke so Clarke would  _know_  what she meant–Lexa was sure she could handle whatever came next.

But Lexa had forgotten the soft part of her she’d buried deep down when Costia left.  She’d forgotten how much she craved being  _wanted_ , and she’d ignored her own desperation to be the object of Clarke’s affections.  So when Clarke announced she couldn’t handle anything serious Lexa agreed, because Lexa wanted Clarke like she hadn’t wanted anyone else in a long time.

It didn’t matter that Clarke’s heart was somewhere else, at least at first, because it was Lexa’s lips she kissed and Lexa’s thighs she peppered with kisses before laving her tongue through Lexa’s folds.  She was Lexa’s, even if she clenched her jaw whenever they walked past Echo and Caesar in the hallway.

But then Lexa realized that while Clarke would laugh about all the attendings (and even did a pretty good imitation of Kane’s “neuro is only for the best” pep talks) with the other interns, she never joked about Caesar.  She never even acknowledged his existence, it seemed, even though she was assigned to his cases just as regularly as everyone else in the surgical program.  Murphy wouldn’t stop bitching about Caesar and Monroe thought he hung the moon, but as far as Clarke was concerned, Blake didn’t seem to exist.

“Hey, B–you’re getting the coffee next time,” Echo yelled down the hall, while Caesar made a mock-annoyed face and waved her off.  Clarke walked past him without even looking as he did the same to her and everything clicked into place.

But it was fine, because for now Clarke was hers, even if Clarke said  _this can’t be anything more than it is, okay?_  a little more often than was necessary.  Lexa was the one Clarke pinned to the door in the on-call room, and Lexa was the one who had to stuff her fist in her mouth to stifle her screams while Clarke’s clever tongue brought her to the edge over and over again.

Blake barely even spared her a glance when he burst into the on-call room, his eyes trained entirely on Clarke.  Lexa grinned as she left because she saw the look in Clarke’s eyes.  She smiled because it was either smile or let her rage show through, and if she showed her rage she would betray herself. 

 It was over.  She knew that from the second she heard Blake growl  _Is this how it’s going to be?_   She didn’t have to stick around to hear Clarke’s answer.  Whatever she and Clarke had been, they were done now.

Lexa took the pain and buried it deep inside of her because that was what she did.  That was how she survived.  She was good at that.

So when Clarke told her two days later it was over, Lexa could say that it was okay, that she was fine.  Because she was.

Almost.


End file.
